In all fairness, I have to describe my leader-subordinate experiences based on my behavioral perspective. For example, as a person who struggles with codependency (some characteristics include people-pleasing, performance-based behavior, masking feelings, self-reliant to a fault, fear of expressing feelings that are different from others ), my perspective is a little different.
I have had good leaders in my life but it is hard to know if they were transformational or if I was just so eager to please and appease that I didn't fully enjoy the benefits of their transformational approach. My intention is not to evade the question and make this a philosophical/psychological discussion; however, I cannot separate who I am and interactions with leaders based on my character defects. Based on what I've shared of myself, I will try to highlight a leader who has exhibited transformational qualities.
One of our earlier blogs called for us to discuss a good leader and I did. The leader I mentioned in previous blogs is the leader who reflected transformational leadership qualities. Though my emotions were marred by codependent behaviors and thoughts, it does not change the fact that my supervisor was one of the greats. Personally, I felt stress in all work environments because I tried to maintain a perfect atmosphere where there was no conflict (even when conflict may have been a beneficial approach). Because of struggling through codependency, I didn't feel like I had a voice (on the job) therefore, I feel like I may have missed out on true exchange with my former supervisor.
As a result of intensely working though the roots of my codependent behavior, I see the world differently. I see the world differently because I see myself differently. My internal recovery has positively impacted my work experiences and leader-effectiveness. In reflecting on my past experiences with the one supervisor who fully embodied transformational leadership, I can honestly say that my supervisor exhibited behaviors that made me want to work harder. I value verbal feedback and my supervisor was not hesitant in acknowledging my hard-work and dedication. I was transformed by my former supervisor in that she saw in me what I didn't see in myself. No one would question my leadership, work-ethic, skill-set or loyalty; however, as a person who struggled with low self-worth and perfectionism (to please others and keep the peace), I never saw myself as a leader. Although I experienced her leadership through marred eyes, my former supervisor trusted me with leader-responsibilities and eventually recommended me for a promotion.
Sometimes I wonder how our interaction would have been had I started working through codependency while under her supervision. Would I have been more honest in communicating issues? Would I have expressed my opinions rather than fearing them? I cannot speak to the answers to these questions but I can move forward today as an emotionally strengthened leader and employee.
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